The Buzz

After my Thursday radio program wherein I hosted golfer Terry Love and actor Perry King, we headed over to Courthouse Coffee and joined Beverly Lewis, Donna Arz and Diana Farr where the conversation quickly sequed into marriage/divorce.  Actor King talked about his disappointment with his two failed marriages and the pain of  divorce all the while I was feeling somewhat proud of myself for managing to navigate over thirty-nine years of what many call the most difficult of relationships, marriage.    I really do liken marriage to my newest found passion, golf, in that when you stay the course and look back at the field littered with the bodies who have been felled, there is that glorious feeling of accomplishment in simply beating the odds.  I am amused when the excuses come up such as "we grew apart" as if this has to be the end of all.   As a veteran of a long-lasting marriage, I have learned much; and one important truth is that marriage is like a successful business in that in order for the marriage to work there must be a mutual respect/regard for the other; humor definitely helps and there must be space in the togetherness.    I have learned, like in business, discussion and negotiation of  issues is one of the keys to success.  If you run hollering and hysterical out of a meeting, it's probably a deal breaker and it only makes more of an emotional mess on the domestic scene.   So, like in pre-school, when tempers flare and old issues become button-pushers, time-outs are a good idea so the parties can retreat to their separt havens until the dust settles.  I'm patting myself on the back as I approach yet another milestone at the end of this month, another year of marriage.  Yes, it can work; but there is always work to be done, always change to adapt to.   I say celebrate the achievement and reward yourself for staying the course. ..