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Come the early morning hours of September 16, it will be easy to mistake the lock-up at the Placer County Jail as a casting call for the next James Bond thriller.
Look, there’s Dr. Evil sitting on the bench next to Odd Job. And isn’t that Pussy Galore with the clunky, chrome bracelets? Funny, I don’t remember her wearing those in Goldfinger. And count them: seven disheveled James Bonds, each one visibly shaken, locked in “stir.”
It doesn’t take a Hollywood mogul to imagine the scene that will unfold following this year’s Black & White Ball production of 007 Bond: License to Thrill. An untold number of hard partiers could lose their motor vehicle operator’s licenses for 2008 after they are arrested for Driving Under the Influence (DUI). As a modest consolation, they’ll get a free photo session and one night’s lodging ... a License to Chill in the Placer County cooler.
That’s if the aftermath of the 2006 Chamber of Commerce event is any
precursor of what to expect after 60 motorists were jailed for DUI
offenses in a dragnet following last year’s Black & White Ball. A
night that begins innocently enough with music, dancing and revelry
could easily descend into a nightmare for those foolish enough to think
they can push their consumption beyond the legal limit and not get
caught.
Backed by a $565,000 government grant to combat drunk drivers, along
with a massive police strike force assembled from jurisdictions all
over the foothills, Auburn Police Chief Valerie Harris is going to get
you. Harris, who makes temperance crusader Carrie Nation look like
Mary Poppins, has a remarkable record for busting impaired heads. For
2006, her crew posted 292 DUI arrests, equating to 23.4 per 1,000
population of Auburn. This amounts to 11.8% of the 2,472 DUIs in all
of Placer County last year, an astonishing total when you consider
Auburn’s population of 12,500 is just 3.9% of the entire County’s
320,000. And this feat was accomplished in a miniscule patrol area of
just 7.4 square miles.
So, if you delude yourself into thinking you can slip through Harris’
web, you’ll be trading your slick little black and white ensemble for
jailhouse couture — a fluorescent orange jump suit.
(At this juncture, it is responsible for me to acknowledge that I own
an establishment that dispenses controlled substances—beer and wine—and
that I’m a member of the Black & White Ball’s marketing committee.)
It’s a genuine conundrum facing the Chamber: How to balance the value
of an important fund-raising event against the reality that life will
change forever for those in attendance who cannot exercise control.
And life is never the same after you’ve been convicted of a DUI ...
it’s a stain that follows offenders forever.
First, there is the cost, upwards of $10,000 per offense for fines,
counseling and hefty lawyer’s fees, not to mention the long-term impact
on driving insurance premiums. More importantly, once convicted you
can lose your job, your dignity and your standing in the community.
Do the quick math, and the financial impact on the Auburn area is
astounding. With a rough cost of $600,000 associated with the 60 DUIs
in 2006, that amounts to more than double what the Chamber grossed for
the event and ten times the actual amount the organization netted.
Weigh that against “a good time was had by all the others,” and
prudence dictates that a pure cost/value analysis be conducted. Is it
really worth the awesome impact on the community?
For now, the Ball must go on, so here’s my prescription for having fun
and staying out of trouble: The obvious remedy is don’t drink and
drive. It’s that simple. If you do plan to drink like 99% of the James
Bond wannabes at the Ball, however, get a ride or reserve a hotel
room. If you take this advice, don’t use the resulting freedom as an
incentive for getting wasted during the evening. And, please, if you
have a teenaged son or daughter picking you up after the event, don’t
overindulge; it really sets a terrible example.
If you plan to drink responsibly, here are a few tips:
— First and foremost, avoid pre-Ball parties. If you attend one of
these and drink in advance of the Ball, that’s just plain dumb.
—Don’t even think about using a “breathalyzer” to monitor your blood
alcohol. If you try to cut yourself off at a certain level, you’re
destined for trouble. Blow a .07 for a police officer, and you’re
going to jail, even though the legal limit is .08.
—Don’t give the police an easy excuse for pulling you over. Pre-flight
your vehicle and make sure all of your turn signals and lights are
operating properly, especially the license plate light. If you have a
trailer hitch, be sure to remove the ball if it obstructs the license
plate.
—Don’t continue the party on the way to your car after the Ball. If
you draw attention to yourself by dancing in the street, I guarantee
you will be pulled over once you leave your parking spot.
—Obey every traffic law implicitly. Use your signals; make full stops;
don’t stop in crosswalks; observe all speed limits, but driving too
slowly is just as big a problem as speeding.
—Finally, if at the moment of truth when you insert your key in the
ignition you think, “Well, I guess I’m okay to drive,” you aren’t. Get
out of the vehicle because you can be arrested for a DUI even if the
car is not running ... it’s all about intent.
The annual Black & White Ball is the summit of the social scene in
Auburn. It’s world-class entertainment and an opportunity to see old
friends, relax and have fun. But partying is serious stuff, with
potentially life-altering implications. Consider yourself warned.
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Gary Moffat is a journalist and co-owner of Carpe Vino in Old Town
Auburn. Read his other work at www.onlyinauburn.com and
www.carpevinoauburn.com .
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