|
One last time, using the voices of others, Ann Davies-Nesbitt entreated her family, friends and neighbors to make every minute count. Life is precious, fleeting and oh so sweet, she reminded everyone, so make every minute count. Hundreds of mourners gathered last Saturday at Lassila Funeral Chapel to celebrate Annie’s life, which she lost October 21st after a long, frustrating and painful battle with cancer. You could have called roll and every city council member and every city staff person—from city manager to chief of police—would have answered up. Annie’s husband, Keith Nesbitt—self-dubbed as “Mr. Auburn”—is a city council member and in the on-deck circle to be our next mayor.
Like many of the people in attendance, I was there because of my
friendship with Keith; I met Annie briefly on a handful of occasions,
either at public functions or as a patron when she visited my wine bar
with her husband. She was always sweet to me, except the last time I
saw her: a couple of months ago in line at the State Theatre, waiting
to buy tickets to see Michael Moore’s latest film, a slam at U.S.
health care industry called “Sicko.” I had written a column that
took the city council to task, and that raised her ire. She let me know
in no uncertain terms that she was peeved, but throughout the brief,
cool conversation, she was characteristically polite. I really
appreciated that as well as the fact she had the gumption to tell me
exactly what she felt. In that way, we are cut from the same cloth.
Woody Allen said, “I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t want to
be there when it happens.” We all know it is inevitable, and the older
I get, the more conscious I am of the relentless, unforgiving march of
time. And when I see brave people like Annie confront the very real
endpoint of their mortality, well, it makes me want to make every
minute count even more. Funeral services are for the living, no
doubt about it, and I benefited deeply hearing the tributes of love
offered to Annie Davies-Nesbitt. Friends and family served as
witnesses to the impact this woman had on their own lives, how she
lived a life to be emulated. They spoke from the heart about both her
strengths and insecurities; about her indomitable will and the simple
pleasures she valued—from her husband and son, Dylan, to her passion
for collecting. An unexpected revelation of the memorial was what
I learned about Keith. While I know he is a remarkable politician with
a magnificent sense of humor, I had no idea he is also a hopeless
romantic and a skilled poet. A Valentine poem he wrote for Annie years
ago—read during the memorial—demonstrated both enormous affection and
devotion to the love of his life, expressed in beautiful verse written
with virtue that I’m sure few imagined. And who knew Keith is a song
writer and musician? In the final analysis, Annie led a rich,
yet unremarkable life, pretty much like everyone else in the chapel
that day. Her final burden was to serve as a model and inspiration for
the rest of us. With the limited insight of an acquaintance, what
impressed me most about Annie’s battle was how she managed her time
with dignity and a sense of purpose. While her disease dominated her
life, it did not dictate terms. She worked when she was able, and she
continued to care for her family and the home she cherished. As
someone who has squandered two opportunities in marriage, I truly
admire how Keith upheld the commitment of his wedding vows. I’m willing
to wager that his 20-year journey with Annie was likely threatened on
more than one occasion—most unions are. But in the end, he answered a
challenge that proved conclusively his devotion and solidarity. What
would any of us give for such a guarantee? Making every minute
count for me these days is something I focus on and my approach is
purposefully simple. I relish working with my son in a business we’re
building together, surrounding myself at every opportunity with special
friends and making sure no day passes without enjoying a fabulous glass
of wine. And for as long as I last and for what it’s worth, I’ll keep
writing—because that’s all I know. Answer this question for Annie ... what are you doing to make every minute count?
Gary Moffat is a journalist and owner of Carpe Vino in Old Town Auburn. You can reach him at
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
 |
Subscribe to this comment's feed